I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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