I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
