She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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