screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
