You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
