Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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