Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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