I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I skipped work to stalk him.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
