I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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