That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
soo... how was my night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
