hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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