I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
