he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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