It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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