Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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