Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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