Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
