Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
birth control should be required to get into college
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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