I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
