There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
