you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Still dying that you shit outside
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
