Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
