I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
