I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize