New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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