Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
