I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
