I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
