I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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