OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we're making bets on your personal life
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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