You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
