im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
