AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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