i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
