New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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