ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
