You made me cry and you don't even care
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
