the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
her vagine was all disorganized.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
