My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i have herpe
just one?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
