he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
