When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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