My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
