He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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