i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
