first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
