I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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