It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
