So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
