So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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