OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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