found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
