her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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