It's Friday. Sex?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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